Lyrics:

Sometimes in life there are changes
Or additions to be made
Like dealing with Moe's or Hesperia
And knowing we probably won't be paid
Some are a little more difficult,
Like installing a pull-up bar in a door
But this may be a bigger change
Than we've ever had before
...And the three of you may ask...

What does it mean to be a Common Shiner uncle?
What does it mean on this day?
It means still being a total badass
But in a kid-friendly sort of way
What does mean to be a Common Shiner uncle?
What does it mean to you?
Well just sit back and listen,
I'll tell you just what to do

MIKE will clearly teach them piano,
Maybe sound design too
And if they ever say their "in their head"
I'm sendin' 'em right to you

JAKE you can teach them to ride a bike
And also how to "slap-a-da-bass"
And which superhero they should be
To keep the supervillains in their place

What does it mean to be a Common Shiner uncle?
What does it mean on this day?
It still means being a total badass
But in a kid-friendly sort of way
What does it mean to be a Common Shiner uncle?
What does it mean to you three?
It means from now on we will play
"That Kid Is Mine, By Me"

VIJAY teach them Magic cards
But don't let them play Mono-Green
Maybe teach them how to roll a spliff
...but not 'til they're 18

All these things I know you'll do
And much much more too
Cuz that is just what
Common Shiner uncles do

That's what it means to be a Common Shiner uncle
That's what it means today
It means still being a total badass
But in a kid-friendly sort of way
That's what it means to be a Common Shiner uncle
Whether it's a boy or a girl
It means being the coolest mutha$!@%ing
Uncles in the world

...Jake if you're still not following,
Corinne
Is
Pregnant

(!!!)